Facebook To Introduce Random Breath Tests

                        Facebook executives relax following the landmark decision to breathalyse members


Following a spate of drunken outbursts amongst its members, social networking giant, Facebook, are planning to introduce breath testing for those who appear to be posting under the influence of alcohol.

A spokesman for the company told reporters last night "We have had an increasing number of complaints from our members complaining of drunken misbehaviour on their timelines, including lewd remarks, threats of violence and  even the usage of capital letters to emphasise how serious they're being."

"In order to protect members who feel vulnerable and threatened we have decided to introduce random breath tests for those posters we feel may have had one over the eight. One of our newly formed "Grog Squad" operatives will turn up at the house of the suspected inebriate with a breath test kit. Any member who returns a positive sample will be issued with an immediate life ban and made to go out on a date with one of the deeply unnatractive desperados who subscribe to the Mature Dating website we constantly plug on our member's timelines."

The proposal has so far met with a mixed reaction from Facebookers. One woman in her 20s told us "Wuff oo babes" while a 53 year old man from Liverpool told our reporter that he was "A fucking bashta" and a "fucking fuuuuuuck" before asking for a cigarette and telling him he was his best mate.